Maybe I've been watching too much Biggest Loser lately...but I am stuck on how interested I am in their transformations, yet my life's been pretty much the same for the past 7 months.

But as I tried to nap today, I started thinking about getting my nose pierced and/or doing something different with my hair...and then later, in the shower, I thought about how I want to get a job that will let me wear my own clothes rather than a uniform, and how I want to have my "own place," and how I want to adopt a pet from the animal shelter...I want this all to happen within the next year or two. And like those inspiring contestants on The Biggest Loser, I want to take charge of my health. Now that I've finally qualified for insurance through Target, I want to go get my first physical exam in a LONG time (ha! did you read that? I WANT to get a physical!), and make sure I'm healthy or take the right steps to get healthy. Can you believe I haven't ever gotten a "female exam"? Though I know it won't be a fun experience, I am anxious to get it over with. I don't expect I'll learn of any health concerns, but you never know...and, like I said, it's been quite a while since I've been checked up.

Besides aiming for a clean bill of health, I also want to take care of my body in the sense of fitness and exercise. I am having such a hard time getting started on this. Ugh.

So...here are some of my ideas/goals for my own transformation. Here's to seeing them through!

Oh, and speaking of health...I came down with this strange flu-like sickness on Sunday, and had to call in to work. Then on Monday morning, I was still out of it and didn't have enough energy to get ready for work, so I had to call out again. I went back in on Tuesday, though still a little wiped. Everyone said I looked tired, and I was. I guess I overexerted a little bit because WOW was I sore waking up this morning!! haha...good stuff.

I just sold my Neon to someone for $500. Not more than two minutes after the new owner drove it away did I tell Kevin, "I miss my Neon!" :( I will miss it a lot, but I'm excited to get comfortable with my new Focus.



Farewell, Tessa! You were good to me!

I also post on Blogger (though not nearly as often as Tumblr, or even LJ), and "follow" quite a few blogs there, some of which belong to friends of mine. A friend and former GVSU classmate, Michelle, posts a lot of entries that expose her raw emotion, and I love her for it. Reading her posts brings out the rawness in me. Currently, she's worrying a lot about her life now and her life in the future...scared and unsure, but sometimes so sure that it scares her. She's writing what I've never been able to put into words. While her story is different than mine, I relate so much to the feelings she's going through.

Once every few days, or few weeks, or whatever it happens to be, I really, really, really, really, really, really miss life as I knew it in Grand Rapids. I had no shortage of friends to be surrounded by, and no lack of faith support. Sometimes I think I was crazy to ever leave it. Sometimes I think I should go back. But sometimes I tell myself it's good I stepped out of my comfort zone, and that I should build my life up from this new place I'm at. But I am not doing so well here, if only for the fact I'm stuck at this crappy job. Part of me thinks that if I could just get a better job, I'd be much better off...but I'm skeptical to think that a new, better job (whenever I might find one) could magically make the rest of my life fall into place.

I have no social life. It sucks. Sometimes in GR, I had to make a choice between two or three different ways I could spend my social time, and I even had the option to opt out and stay home if I felt like it (which I did with relish every once in a while). Now, I don't really have a choice. When Rachel and Kevin want to go out, I'm usually too exhausted to even want to go with.

Part of me thinks it'd be fantastic to move back to Grand Rapids, but it's also a very scary thought. My biggest worry is having a job out there that would support me. I wouldn't mind so much having a crappy job at first...just need to make enough to pay bills, rent, etc. I imagine that having my friends and church back would be more than enough to overpower a crappy job. But then, I think about my friends, whom I've been away from for over 10 months now, and how they've had all that time with each other, and without me. I'm scared I'd feel left out or like I'd have to work my way back into their lives again. It scares me. I know my friends love me, and so many of them have voiced how they want me back in GR, and I know that if I mentioned this fear to them, they'd tell me I am silly...but it's a real fear to me. I chose to move away, and in some ways have alienated myself from the people I spent most of my college years with. And now I'm living with the results. Many of my friends have said they've grown apart a little because of their busy lives -- quite a few of my "posse" are married now, or working, or crazy busy with school.

::Sigh:: I agonize over big decisions (I cried the other day over my car hunting experience thus far), and this is one I'll continue agonizing over until I decide to either slap myself and say this is where I am, I'd better accept it and get to living (I thought I had accepted it...I thought wrong), or slap myself and say this is not where I'm supposed to be, get out of here and get to living.

When I was home this past winter, my dad kept telling me I need to wear driving gloves in the winter so my hands don't freeze. I never wanted any because I didn't think I'd be comfortable driving with them, but now I change my mind: I saw these driving gloves at Target today...totally want them.





Love, love, love.

(I know they're not "specifically" driving gloves, but close enough for me.)

I totally want someone waiting on me hand and foot when I'm sick! :) I was spoiled growing up; Mom would do everything she could to help me, even if the only thing she could do was show me sympathy. :) Every time I'm sick, my #1 thought is, "I want my mommy!" Rachel is the same way.

When I had the flu when I was home this winter, my daddy went out of his way to by me popsicles. It made my day.

You can always know when you're loved, and by whom, but it's amplified so much when people love on you when you're sick.

If I just have a cough and congestion kind of sickness, I've always done my best to make it to class and work. But if I'm achey, feverish, nauseous, etc., I don't want to go anywhere (and they wouldn't want me there, anyway!).

There was a shooting about a block from my workplace tonight! Pretty scary stuff. :(

Well, I am now officially the "Specialist" of the fresh grocery at Target! I've already been doing pretty much everything the job requires, but now I'm actually getting the pay rate and the title. It'll be nice to have bigger paychecks. It's nice to be given more responsibility and to be trusted enough to be given the position. I do feel a bit more pressure, though, so I'm hoping that won't get to me too much.

Big surprise - this isn't what I want to be doing. I have many friends who have set guidelines or goals for themselves for a certain period of time...I'd like to do something similar for myself, to have something to work toward and look forward to, but I still have absolutely no idea what I really DO want to be doing. It's maddening. I am thankful to be moving up at Target in the mean time, but I don't want to settle for this, and I don't want to continue losing my soul to this slump that I'm in at this point in my life...

I know I've been quite the Negative Nancy lately, so I'm going to end on a positive note. :) I've subscribed to Good Housekeeping, and O, and I did a free trial of People just for the heck of it. I loooove having so much magazine to read that I get behind. :) I'm barely halfway though the latest O right now, and then I have the new People with Patrick Swayze (RIP!) on the cover to read. I may not be the biggest novel reader, but I sure do love my magazines.

Also: Just caught up on the new season of ANTM tonight. I'm ticked that Bianca got a second chance with that attitude. Grrr.

Alrighty, all you crafty people. I am bored, uninspired, and had a disappointing experience shopping for shirts today. I have a very limited selection of shirts that aren't tees, and I'm sick of not having much to wear on my days off. Therefore, I am appealing to you to share any tried-and-true or easy-looking patterns for shirts, casual dresses, maybe even skirts.

I've had a sewing machine for a couple years now, and it's just collecting dust. It's about time I use it!


In return for your tips/suggestions, I am sharing a pattern for a dress my friend Laura made: Infinity Dress. She said it's not too hard to make - but I'm going to save it 'til I have more experience. :D

I made lentil soup tonight, and it turned out pretty well! I think I put too many veggies/not enough water in, because it was very thick.

I'm watching The Notebook on TV right now...gets me every time!!

I went to sleep at 7pm last night! I wasn't feeling very well, and I was very tired after working 6am-2:30pm and not taking a nap...I had to go back in at 6 this morning so I figured, since I wasn't feeling so hot, I'd see what it would be like to have a full night's sleep before an early shift! I was/am still tired...but not nearly as tired as usual. Today was day 2 in my 6-day stretch – my second this month...I think that's such a cruel schedule! :(

I had interviews this week for Specialist positions at Target...it's the next step up from "Team Member." It wouldn't be much of a pay increase, but anything's better than what I'm getting right now. I had THREE interviews – one with Jim, one with Jen, and one with Matt. Target does "situational" interviews..."Tell me about a time when..." and I don't think I'm very good at them! haha...I caught myself talking WAY too much and taking way too much time to answer questions. Eh...who knows if I'll end up getting the promotion or not. I'll find out probably in the middle of next week. I just found out yesterday that John (the specialist in my area, called Pfresh) will be transferring to another Target...meaning Consumables Specialist will be open...meaning they'll more than likely give me that job. :( I would love the opportunity to move outside of food...

I went to see Dave Matthew's Band at the Alpine Valley Music Theatre last night.

Katie's brother Eric picked me up and I rode with him in his super fancy new vehicle. We met up with Katie and Eric's cousins and their significant others and friends after we got there. Once we got close to the venue, there was over a half-hour long wait time til we actually parked the car.

Tailgating was fun; LOTS of interesting people were there...lots of drunks and stoners, for sure. Some sheriff's officers stopped to play Bag-o with people in our crew, so I took video and photos of that since it was an interesting experience.

We were tailgating from 2:30ish until we went into the amphitheatre a little before 8. We mostly missed the opening band – I didn't realize they were playing when we first walked in.

Meanwhile, Katie was supposed to meet up with us at the concert; she was driving down from camp, but got a late start on the trip. We were waiting to hear from her throughout the day, and after we'd been at the concert for a while, she called to say her GPS got her lost, and she was on her way home to Chicago. We were bummed, as I'm sure she was. :(

Anyway, the crowd was absolutely nuts throughout the whole DMB show. The band played most of their new album, which I unfortunately hadn't listened to yet. Since I am so short, I couldn't see the stage over the people in front of me, so I watched the digital screens around and above the stage. I basically was watching the concert on TV. It made me feel really disengaged. :( Then there were all the people shoving through the crowd, all the drunkards being obnoxious, and all the stoners creating a stinky haze all over the place. So sadly, I spent much of the concert really agitated and upset because my expectations were totally different.

Among all the songs I didn't recognize (which were amazing, nonetheless!), they did play "Crush," "Grey Street," "Funny the Way It Is," and "Ants Marching." They played for well over 2 hours.

I uploaded all the pictures and videos I took onto Facebook today, and re-watching them has made me kick myself for being in such a crappy mood last night! That concert was something I had wanted to experience for so long, and finally had the chance! The music really was phenomenal. I would love to have the chance to see them again. Apparently, Dave plays that venue every year, and he's always there for two nights. If I have the opportunity to go to a DMB show again, I will definitely spend the extra money to get a SEAT, rather than a lawn ticket. I am grateful that I even got the lawn ticket second-hand, though, for sure!

My last gripe about the experience is that the lawn in the theatre was sooo trashed when we were walking out. I thought THAT was horrible, but walking through the parking lots, and later driving through...it got me so worked up and angry. Trash EVERYwhere: crushed party cups, beer cans, glass bottles, abandoned propane tanks and grills, trash strewn all over the place. There were ample trash barrels all over the lots; people couldn't spend five minutes to clean up after themselves?! Eric's suv had beer cans on the bumper, with beer spilled all over it, and CHEESE sticking to his rear window and license plate. Ridiculous. And as we were packing up the car, two huge explosions happened in the lot we were parked in; apparently someone lit off propane tanks (SMART!), and it looked like some guy got hit with shrapnel because he was cussing up a storm and holding his leg. Don't be stupid, people!!

We had walked out of the theatre after the music ended at 11ish, but ended up waiting around in the parking lot til about 1am before we actually tried to leave...the lots were craaaazy packed! So it was a very late night! I was falling asleep in the parking lot, and then again in the car on the way home.

To end on a positive note, I had a great time tailgating and meeting new people, and the musicians were fantastic. You can see the passion on their faces and it definitely comes through in their work.

Here are a few pictures:

In two hours, I will be on my way to East Troy, WI to see Dave Matthews Band in concert!! Meghan was going to go with Katie and her brother and their cousins, but Meg had also scheduled a trip with some friends to Isle Royale this weekend, and didn't realize it. So she offered me her ticket, which I gladly accepted!! Eric's picking me up at 12:45 so we'll get to Alpine Valley about 2, when the lots are open and tailgating begins. :D

The show doesn't even start 'til 7pm! Rachel's good friends Kim, Nick, and Matt will be there, too, so I plan to spend some time with them.

I'm sitting here with a glass of water and bottle of aspirin...I know I need to eat something before I take the pills, but I gotta get rid of this headache soon! Rach, Kev, and I went out last night, and I had a good time. I drank a little too much, hence the headache. Ouch. I'm really not a "get drunk" kind of person, so this only happens once in a great while. Good thing, 'cause I don't know how I would deal with hangovers every other day. Yikes.

On Thursday night, we went to the Dane County Fair, ate expensive fair food, and went on some rides since it was one-ticket rides for the night. 'Twas fun.

Well, I'd better get in better spirits and prepare for the night ahead of me! Soooo excited!!!

When I walked into work yesterday, a couple people were in the break room watching the Michael Jackson tribute...I only had a minute or two before I had to punch in, but with all those musicians on stage singing "Heal the World"...I started tearing up. I wanted to watch the entire show, but I probably would've bawled through the whole thing.

The holiday weekend was wonderful!

Rachel, Kevin, and I got into Gladstone early Friday afternoon. The first thing we did was head to Aunt Elaine's salon so Rachel could get her hair cut. :) Mom made spaghetti for dinner, so the three of us joined Mom and Dad.

After dinner, I went with Rachel and Kevin to Kevin's parents' house and hung out there for a little bit. Then I had Rach drop me off at Erin's, because she, Meghan, and I planned to hang out at 8. It was great to catch up with Erin (and her mom!) while we waited for Meghan to come from her birthday festivities with her family.

Once Meghan got here and we all had a chance to talk, I called Rachel to have her pick me up (I felt like such a drag all weekend, since I didn't have my own means of transportation!). She, Kevin, and Jared had been down at Gibby's bar for a little while. Our cousin Candice was there with some friends from high school, because it was their classmate and friend's wedding anniversary, and the couple celebrating were the bar's owners. We drove back down there, and for a while we were definitely the youngest there - it was kind of funny. But it was fun chatting with Candice, her sister-in-law Dallas, and their friends. We ended up leaving at about 11pm because Rachel had to run a race in the morning, and we were all tired anyway.

Saturday morning, Rachel left early for the Firecracker run, and Mom, Dad, Kevin and I drove into Escanaba to pick up donuts for the family watching the parade, as is the norm. We drove into Gladstone and just as we were walking up to our aunt and uncle's place, Rachel was rounding the corner; she had just finished running. She got her best time for that race!

The parade was a lot of fun, especially watching Candice's kids and Kevin and Rachel's niece and nephew as they enjoyed it. After the parade, some of us walked over to the Veterans Memorial Park practically across the street from my aunt and uncle's. My aunt Elaine bought some tiles with her brothers' names on them and they're placed alongside the names of other veterans in the park. It was the first time I'd seen the park, and it's very nice.

After that, it was off to Van Cleve park, where we ran into some friends, but not nearly as many as I'd thought! We ate some good vendor food and enjoyed some drinks, but were all tired out by mid-afternoon! Kevin, Rachel, and I ended up driving home to take a nap. After we woke up, we went to Kevin's parents' for a cookout. They all decided to go back down to the park after dinner, so I got dropped off at Meghan's so I could hang out with her and Erin some more. We sat on the porch and chatted, and enjoyed some delicious food, as always! When 9 o clock rolled around, they walked me down to Candice's cottage, where I met up with Rach and Kevin, and we said goodbye to the family. We met up with Kevin's family on the beach for fireworks.

David called me after it got dark and we were still waiting for the fireworks to start, and I met up with him and Michelle. We sat on the beach and watched a great fireworks show. They invited me to go meet up with David's mom at a bar with them, which sounded great to me. We got to the Sand Bar and got some drinks, and watched the band, Driver, play. While we were sitting there, a guy walked across the dance floor and came to sit by me!! He was CUTE! Kinda long blonde hair, light eyes, a little bit of mutton chops going on... We talked for a few minutes, introduced ourselves...I didn't feel awkward or creeped out at all. But then he went back to his friends to see what they were up to, and I think they left! :( Bummer. So, Greg from Rapid River...wherever you are...it was nice to meet you! :D I probably spit on him on accident or something. Sad. We didn't even get to exchange numbers or anything. Boo. Janelle didn't get to the bar until 12:30ish! She bought us all a round, and we chatted for a bit, but us kids were tired out. David and Michelle drove me home, and I was thrilled that I had stayed out later than my sister for once! :D

This morning, we woke up and went to church as a family, then met up with Kevin's parents and Jared for breakfast. We packed up and headed out after that. The weekend went by so quickly!! But it was great.

Our mom was supposed to come back down and stay with us during her vacation time this week, but she had an accident Thursday evening! Every year around the 4th, Meghan's grandma comes up from Dowagiac and stays with Meghan's family. She brings her antique tea set, and they throw a high tea (with desserts and tea sandwiches and a few flavors of tea). Since my friends and I left for college, it's become a traditional event with the "moms and daughters," and whoever can make it shows up. I didn't know about it this year, otherwise I would have driven up early to be there! Anyway, after the tea and when my mom was making her way to her car, she was turned around saying by to the others and missed a step to the sidewalk! She fell ON HER FACE, and apparently scared the crap out of everyone there. :( She was okay, but bleeding a lot. The ambulance came and brought her to the hospital. Meghan's mom followed and stayed with my mom at the hospital until my dad could make it there. My mom had to get stitches above her eyebrow, and they did a cat scan to make sure her head was okay. Miraculously, aside from the stitches, a black eye, and other bruising, she is fine! I'm so thankful. But she broke her glasses as she fell, so she can't see well until she gets new glasses, so she couldn't drive down today. :( Plus, she's trying to take it easy. My poor mama!

I just noticed that I haven't posted since June 13th. Nothing too important has happened in the past couple of weeks. I sent an email out to a bunch of my friends, letting them know I have been thinking about moving back to Grand Rapids, and asking them for advice and prayers. Many people encouraged me to go back to Grand Rapids, but I appreciate that a few people gave me more cautious advice or have even encouraged me to give life here some more time.

I brought up to Rachel that I was considering moving, and I cried a lot while telling her, and then after that day, I kind of stopped thinking about moving. It's still in the back of my mind, but I haven't been very upset about my life here since I broke down that day. I am a little more hopeful, I guess. I just don't want to get stuck working at Target for such low pay, when I work so hard.

I checked out a new church on Sunday, and I enjoyed it. I will probably go back again to get a better feel for it. I liked the church I had attended for 6 or 7 weeks, but I just didn't see myself really fitting in there.

Tomorrow morning, Rachel, Kevin, and I will head back to Gladstone for the weekend. The 4th of July is my favorite day of the year, but only when I get to spend it in Gladstone! I can't wait. We always go to my aunt and uncle's in the morning, bearing donuts, and hang out until the parade starts at 10. They live right on Delta, where the parade starts. Our family takes over the strip of sidewalk in front of their house. :) After the parade, we visit with family some more. By late morning/early afternoon, we make our way to the park, where there are festivities going on all day. We have some great food, and walk around meeting up with people all day. It's just a great atmosphere. This is a tradition I've taken part in since I was very young, and it's just so familiar and fun. That's why it's my favorite day of the year. The day ends in fireworks, of course. On top of it all, I'll get to spend time with my cousin Candice and her family. I only get to see them once or twice a year, and Preston, my godson, is almost 3!

After the weekend, our mom is following us down and staying with us for a few days. It'll be nice to get to hang out with her during her vacation time. Sadly, I have to work a lot next week.

Oh, and I will get to see Ebony and Ivy this weekend, for the first time since March! :D

This morning, I met up with Jaci for coffee on State Street in Madison. We met at Espresso Royale, a lovely cafe with a good atmosphere. There was also an ADORABLE little baby crawling around while her mom supervised from behind her laptop, and the baby reached into my purse! haha. The mom said, "You can only steal from mommy's purse!"

Anyway, I realized today that I am very picky about my coffee shops. I doubt I'll ever find something I will love as much as The Bitter End. I loved how it was dark, old-feeling, and full of art. I loved the quirky menu boards and the quirky baristas. I liked the small tables crammed together, and crawling over and under people to get to the outlets.

I've been to Michelangelo's on State Street, and liked the colors and atmosphere in there. It does feel a touch too contemporary, though.

Espresso Royale had a very similar feel to The Bitter End, with lots of little tables and an "old" feeling, but it's not nearly the same.

A coffee shop just opened up here in Edgerton, and I'd been wanting to check it out. I found out they were having their grand opening today, so I swung by later in the afternoon. I was not at all impressed. :( I really want to support them, but it doesn't have the right "feel" to me. It's big and open, with mostly big tables. There are also tons of gift items for sale, displayed on the walls. There are tanning rooms toward the back of the store. The walls are big and bright white, and big storefront windows let in lots of light. Besides the barista, I was probably the youngest person there by over 20 years.

I just made the connection that The Bitter End was less than a mile from a college campus. So are most of the coffee shops on State Street. So that explains the crowd appeal, but doesn't really account for the architectural/decorative features.

I know there are many more cafes to explore in Madison.

Eh. I'll continue my search. :)

After reading my last entry, my good friend AJ sent me a concerned message that asked some honest questions and helped me face some thoughts I'd been having for the past month or so, but hadn't spent too much time on.

I just wrote him back a long message, which could have been even longer, and let some tears out as I stared my life in the face, so to speak.

It's so much easier to be lackadaisical about life than to work at it. I'm not sure what will happen in the near future, but I hope it involves doing what is really best for me.

To be a little less vague: I'm not exactly happy with my life here in the middle of Wisconsin, across Lake Michigan from most of my friends. There are many reasons for me to consider moving back to Grand Rapids, but it's a decision I want to make carefully and prayerfully. I was so set on moving away from there, so I need to re-examine the reasons for that decision, and decide whether there are enough reasons for me to stay here in Wisconsin.

I'd appreciate prayers, encouragement, free counseling. ;D

What’s eating me…

I feel like I have no purpose right now. I know I need to get up and get out and do something, but I can’t get myself to move most days, except for going to work. I sit on the computer in front of the TV. I have Rachel and Kevin, but our schedules don’t always align, and in a lot of ways I feel very alone here in Wisconsin. I don’t have friends here, and I can’t even make myself call any of my friends…it’s like a chore. I feel detached, though I know it doesn’t have to be this way.

I’m disappointed that this is my life right now, I think. I’m disappointed that I’m working at Target, living at my sister’s, holding myself back from living whatever kind of life I’m meant to live. I am sooo thankful that Rachel and Kevin want me to stay with them, and I love them both and love living with them, but it makes me feel like a dependent (and in a lot of ways, I am). I see my peers, people who I graduated with or who have just graduated, doing amazing things with their lives, be it as small as picking up and moving somewhere they’ve always wanted to live, just to be there. Selling handmade wares to raise money so they can live and teach in Africa. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others, but I feel so insignificant and lost.

I should be using my free time to do something to better myself or my world, like read, or volunteer, or get back into crafting, or start exercising…I should make myself start writing again, or take my poor lonely guitar or sewing machine out of its case. I just can’t seem to do it! I’m terribly undisciplined.

I’m afraid if I don’t make any changes, I’ll be stuck in this rut for way too long.

Thank God I have a job...but it's pretty much all I've got in my life right now.

I wrote this last night, but it disappeared on me. It was saved as a draft, so I'm posting it today.

Tonight was the second time I've cried at work. Both times, it's been at the end of a shift, while talking to team leads. It's been unexpected both times...like I couldn't keep it from happening (I'm sure it's related to my hormone levels, actually). I cried tonight after telling Chris that I felt like some co-workers didn't think I was doing my job. It's frustrating, because I feel like I work so hard, and there's so much I have to do in the grocery section that the list is never finished. More often than not, there is only one person working in grocery, which makes it even harder to get stuff done. Yet my coworkers often seem so surprised at my lack of progress...I constantly feel like people think I'm doing a crappy job.

While I was talking to Chris, Beth, and Lauren on the way out tonight, Chris said he knows I bust my ass (his words), and that I go above and beyond what is expected to me. That was reassuring and nice to hear.

I have been recognized for my hard work/good work ethic on three different occasions in my 2 months at Target so far, so since those recognitions, I had been pretty confident that I'm doing fine. But I take my work so seriously that one little snarky comment can really hurt my feelings. I have been working since I was sixteen, which can be rare for someone my age these days, and I've taken every job I do seriously. I remember when Russ and Travis gave me a hard time at Jimmy John's, saying I wasn't pulling my weight and didn't act like I wanted to be there. I was really hurt, because I believed I was working my hardest, as I always do.

Geez...if I get this worked up over a food service job and a retail job...I can only imagine my stress levels when/if I ever get a "big person" job. Oy.

I hate the tabloids, and I wish the paparazzi & tabloid writers would just let celebrities work out their problems with integrity...I'm speaking specifically about Jon and Kate Gosselin, but I feel that way about all tabloid stories. Why are we so interested in celebrities' lives? Why do we all need to hear about their dirty laundry? Why does it matter to us? How is it our business? Ugh. It just seems like humans can't get away from the rumor mill...even those who try to avoid it.

I used to love watching Jon & Kate Plus Eight, but now I can't do it. I guess I'm guilty of being interested in their lives, but that's because that's what the show is. I just feel so badly for them, despite any wrongdoings on either side. All the negative publicity cannot be helping the resolution process.

Oh, this'll be a long list!
1. "The Green House" on N 17th St in Gladstone, Mich. 3ish years.
2. The house my Grandpa Pepin built and my mother grew up in, in Flat Rock/Gladstone, Mich. (this is where Rachel and I did most of our growing up, and where my parents still live today) 15ish years
3. 120 Hills, my dorm with Jenna at Grand Valley in Allendale, Mich. 8 months.
4. 4249 Crooked Tree Rd, Apartment 6, with Krystin in Wyoming, Mich. 5ish months.
5. G4 at Country Place, with Amanda, Jayme, and Jillian, in Allendale, Mich. 4ish months.
6. 64th St Apartments with Jessica, Jackie and I moved in temporarily during the beginning of summer after Sophomore year. 2-3 weeks. Allendale, Mich.
7. B4 with Jayme at Ottawa Creek Apartments for the rest of the summer...mostly by myself. Allendale, Mich.
8. B3 with Jackie and Jessica at Ottawa Creek...about 8 months. Allendale, Mich.
9. 7635 Sally Drive, with Emily, Angelina, Jackie, Jessica (and Holly, for the summer). 12 months. Jenison, Mich.
10. Floyd St. with Melisa, Craig, & kids for about 5 months. Wyoming, Mich.
11. Cumberland Drive with Rachel and Kevin. I've been here for 2 months now. Edgerton, Wis.

My favorite place out of all of these is by far at home with my family (#2). I was lucky to move home again after my freshman year of college, and again after graduating. Though it can get boring there, nothing beats being home with my parents and Ebony and Ivy.

My favorite college living experience was probably Sally Drive. It was just so nice to be renting a house, and to each have our own bedroom, two living rooms, two bathrooms, a yard, and a nice-sized kitchen. It wasn't the perfect place, by any means, but it was lovely to have so many roommates, but room to get away. We also had people over a lot, which was really great. Apartments don't always lend room for having large get-togethers.

I also loved living with Mel & Craig, but the situation probably wasn't very conducive to my being a student. I lived the furthest from campus I had yet, and would rather play with the kids or visit with Mel and Craig than do homework. :) Still, I loved it, and am so grateful for that opportunity. I'd say it's my 2nd favorite place on the list.

My least favorite would have to be Crooked Tree in Wyoming, though I did enjoy it a lot for most of the time we were there. It was a nice apartment in a beautiful community, and close to the mall. :) We had a small kitchen, but a dining room with a table made up for it. Harper (Krystin and Shawn's dog) was over a lot, and I had Scout the hamster there. But the bad memories cloud most of my experience there now, and I just have a sour taste from it. I initiated breaking the lease, because Krystin was never around and didn't use the money I gave her for bills to actually pay the bills. I heard she and Shawn were involved in some illegal activity, and that was the last straw for me. She had been a great friend to me since high school, but had completely changed in just a few months. This apartment is also where I was living while I was dating Jimmy, and some hard stuff went down with that, too. Just bad memories. :(

To end on a happier note, I love living with Rachel and Kevin, and Sox and Leo. The house is beautiful, we're working on the yard, and it's summertime! Yeah!